"What do you mean, 'moe battle anime'?!"
Simultaneous with that scream, a DVD case came spinning toward my head at high velocity.
You often hear users trash-talking a "kusoge" or a "trashy anime" by saying they used the disc as a frisbee, but this was a truly demonic execution of that metaphor.
She’s the type of person who’d cut their media into pieces and mail them back to the manufacturer while screaming, "I bought this new, but the heroine was used!" Truly lamentable.
"To-Tomoya, you... You knew I’m terrified of horror movies!"
"Hm? Did you not care for Is This a Zombie? Yes, It’s a Masterpiece by George A. Romero?"
Ah, I see... I thought that sound of something dragging itself up the stairs earlier sounded familiar. That was it.
"And why Volume 4?! Volumes 1 through 3 were the real thing!"
"Caught you off guard, didn't I?"
Volume 3 ends on such a cliffhanger, after all. It was the perfect moment to strike.
"Even Volume 4 had the proper opening! But then the actual show starts and it's suddenly full of live-action gore! And you edited it to only show the grossest parts!"
"I'll have you know I even made the DVD label myself."
It was a masterpiece of a job. I was certain she'd never be able to tell the difference.
"So, for what purpose? What was your goal? What did you hope to achieve with this absurdly moronic, infantile, prankish, harassment-like practical joke? I would dearly love to hear your explanation!"
"Calm down. You could've just stopped at 'absurd practical joke.'"
She was so worked up she was just rattling off synonyms.
"And why did you block my number?! Thanks to that, I had to come here in person! I never intended to set foot in your house ever again!"
"You're the one who blocked me first. We're even."
Also, for someone who never intended to come back, she sure broke in like a pro.
Well, the hiding spot for the spare key hasn't changed since we were in elementary school, but the fact that she remembers it...
"Ugh, my head is starting to hurt from being so angry..."
"No, you actually have a bump on your forehead. Want me to get the first aid kit?"
"Whose fault do you think this injury is in the first place?! Why are you so calm?!"
"Yeah, fair point."
Man, this irrational anger... What a high-intensity attribute. She’s exactly like a template.
But a template is a double-edged sword. While it certainly makes a character stand out easily, it carries the dilemma of becoming clichéd and tiresome if followed too closely. Usually, she has a reasonably balanced personality, but once she loses her temper, she devolves into just another irrational character...
"You’re criticizing my character in your head again, aren't you, you galge-brained freak!"
"The way you can see right through me like a psychic makes you even more of a template childhood friend!"
See? Just like that.
Oh, and for the record, since she hasn't shown a shred of sweetness in over ten years, I refuse to call her a tsundere.
"U-Um, Aki-kun?"
"...Oh, you're okay, Kato."
Oops. I’d completely forgotten about Kato for the last few minutes.
"...Who is that?"
Kato was hiding behind me, trembling as if she were terrified. ...That would have been cute, but in reality, she was just her usual, flat-toned self. In a way, you could say her character is consistent.
"If anyone else said that given the flow of conversation, I'd laugh. I mean, you’ve been going to the same school for over a year, right?"
"You've been going to the same school as me for over a year too, remember?"
"Yeah, that nimble retort was a nice touch."
Exchanging our usual flat dialogue, I pointed toward the girl Kato was staring at.
"Anyway, this is Eriri Spencer Sawamura. She’s a neighbor who's been at the same school as me since elementary."
"Man, I'm glad you got my message today. If you hadn't shown up, I would've had to let Kato stay the night."
"Wait? I was going to be forced to sleep over?!"
Kato reacted with a comically belated, bewildered squeak.
Well, thinking about it calmly, she was told I'm not letting you go home tonight in the room of a guy she's only known for a week, visiting for the very first time. It makes perfect sense she'd be shaken.
"It's Kato-san, right? You really don't need to worry. Even alone with a girl, this guy's only options are pulling an all-nighter gaming or an anime marathon."
"What are you saying? Even I don't stay up all night just playing Ma*io Kart anymore. I actually spend the whole night discussing romance."
"You just changed the genre to galge, didn't you."
Eriri cast a look of pure contempt at the game screen displayed on the monitor.
"And such an old game, too..."
"Call it a classic masterpiece. Besides, you used to be obsessed with it too, Eriri."
"That was in elementary school! And only because you cried and forced me, saying, 'You can't go home until you clear one character's route'..."
"Your demands really haven't changed since elementary school, have they, Aki-kun?"
"It's because Mi*orin is way too much of a waifu to me..."
"Wow, wait, this is super cute..."
"And if you dig through the archives, you can go back a few years. Tracing the evolution to her current art style makes for a fun journey, too."
"Don't go planting unnecessary knowledge in her head. For an artist, having people look at their old art can be worse than death."
"Then you shouldn't have left it up."
"Then I wouldn't be able to rack up hit counts, obviously. Don't be stupid."
"Yeah, yeah..."
"Sawamura-san draws this kind of moe art, too..."
Kato's eyes were glued to the page displayed on my PC, which read: Welcome to egoistic-lily's page!
"Or rather, you were an actual otaku..."
She was staring at a shamelessly pandering page completely riding the current wave of moe, filled with illustrations of heroines from the latest hit anime and best-selling galges.
"You're going to pay for this, Tomoya..."
"Look, if I didn't show her the real thing, there's no way she'd ever believe it."
In fact, even after Eriri showed up right in front of her looking like this—in a jersey with messy hair—Kato still couldn't seem to comprehend the truth of the otaku girl known as Eriri Spencer Sawamura.
So, I had no choice but to resort to this drastic measure: disclosing all of Eriri's information and hitting Kato with a culture shock to pry her stubbornly shut eyes open.
Profile
Handle: Kashiwagi Eri
Circle Name: egoistic-lily
Gender: ♀
Birthday: June 25
Upcoming Event: April 30, COMIC☆Niche
A-26 egoistic-lily
Bicycle H&H Book planned (24 pages)
Between the handle "Eri," the circle name "lily," and the sulky expression on E-lily... I mean, Eriri's face when I opened this page, Kato finally seemed to understand what I'd been trying to say.
"Honestly, you made me watch a horror movie I didn't even want to see, got me hurt on the stairs, and to top it all off, you exposed my website. You really are the absolute worst piece of trash."
Exactly as her expression showed, Eriri was now completely sulking.
"Come on, don't be so mad. Here, the real volume four. Take it."
"I was supposed to borrow this from the beginning. Factoring in how you set me up, I'm still taking a massive loss here."
"...Also, I just so happen to have the rough sketch collection right here, which was a bonus for buying all the volumes."
"...Wait, you don't mean that pandemonium-inducing rare item, the one where the application postcard was only included in the first-print limited edition of volume one that sold out instantly?"
"Yep. It easily goes for over ten grand on online auctions. Plus, it features all the character roughs from the animation director. I bet it'd come in really handy when making doujin..."
"...Why would you ever consider letting go of such a treasure?"
"Well, an apology requires a show of sincerity... Just kidding, I actually bought a second set to keep in mint condition."
"Your methods are as ruthless as ever... You know I'm not giving this back, right?"
"Do whatever you want."
"She really, truly is an otaku from the bottom of her heart..."
Additionally, seeing Eriri's mentality—how easily she took the bait of words like "first-print limited edition" and "bonus"—seemed to help Kato indirectly grasp the point I was trying to make.
"Now do you get it, Kato? Do you see just how necessary this otaku girl—who acts like a refined young lady at school but secretly dips her hands deep into doujin, leaching off popular genres and raking in the cash—is for our galge production?!"
"U-Umm, well..."
"I'm going home after all. Also, die."
"No way, I'm absolutely making you join our team, Eriri! With your exceptional design skills and your knack for immediately adapting to trendy art styles, you could turn even someone as remarkably featureless as Kato into an ultra-moe character..."
"U-Umm, so, you're saying that if you use a featureless character like me as a model, it's a hopeless cause unless you have Sawamura-san's level of drawing ability...?"
"No, it's just that whether it's a light novel or a galge, ninety percent of sales are decided by the art (or so I've heard)!"
"I don't see how that's supposed to be a save, Aki-kun."
"Wouldn't it be a lower hurdle to just create an original character without a model?"
"No, that's no good. This project only exists because of Kato, after all."
"Well, I have zero motivation to do this anyway, so I don't care."
"No, that's no good either. This project can't even get off the ground without you, Eriri."
"Just how fragile is this project of yours? You should learn a thing or two from a certain title that shamelessly pumps out sequels even after all the original staff have left and only the brand name and rights remain."
"Stop! I respect brands like that, but this is a completely different story!"
"Kyaaaaaah?!"
"?!"
"Wh-What's wrong, Kato?"
As Eriri and I were fiercely debating the state of an industry rampant with—no, dominated by—the sequel fan-disc business model, Kato let out a hysterical scream.
"W-Wait, Aki-kun! This girl has some kind of mosaic over her?!"
"Whoa, Kato! You clicked the Are you 18 or older? button, didn't you?!"
"Oh, boy... Why'd you have to go that far?"
Following Kato's pointing finger, I looked at the screen. The magical girl heroine, who had been striking a smiling moe pose just moments before, was now being skewered from front and back by two invisible men, drooling as she climaxed.
"Ah, uh, ahh... S-Sawamura-san, what is this?!"
"Isn't it basic manners not to ask about every little thing, Kato-san?"
"Drawing it is a far bigger violation of manners!"
"What are you talking about? Sure, minors are prohibited from viewing R-18 images, but there's no law restricting minors from drawing R-18 images, you know?"
"Which means the only one who committed a violation here is Kato. Seriously, why did you click Yes when you're underage?"
"Even you, Aki-kun?!"
Well, it might have been a massive shock to Kato, but this was the other truth of Eri Kashiwagi—or rather, the doujin thug known as Eriri Spencer Sawamura.
Her genre of choice: anime and games.
Rather than delving deeply into a single franchise, she was the type to rapidly pivot to whatever title was popular at the moment, maximizing the boost she got from the genre's trending status.
The illustrations on her website were updated almost every single day.
Her daily hit count easily reached into the tens of thousands.
She participated in events nearly every month and made a killing each time.
These days, she was comfortably a "wall circle" even at Comiket.
The foundation of her immense popularity was her uncompromising attitude; despite possessing the skill to sell plenty of copies with standard moe illustrations alone, she didn't hesitate to depict ruthless, hardcore adult content.
Well, I've never actually seen one of her eighteen-plus books, though. I am a minor, after all.
"B-B-But... running an adult-rated website is..."
"Oh, don't worry about that. My papa is the one who runs the site."
"Eh..."
"And he's also her sales assistant at events..."
"Wh-Wh-What?!"
"I told you, Kato. She's nothing like the image you have of a diplomat's family."
Just as everyone said, Eriri was undoubtedly an elite, raised in a sheltered environment.
However, the direction she'd been given during that upbringing was far-removed from public norms.
She was a literal thoroughbred, born to an otaku foreigner father and a fujoshi mother.
Armed with the "strongest contradiction"—or rather, the ultimate weapons and armor—of wealth and parental understanding, she was the ultimate otaku.
"Well, I think Kato has a point, though. Eriri, don't you think it's time you stopped the adult-rated stuff... or rather, shouldn't you wait until you're actually eighteen before doing eighteen-plus content?"
"But it sells better that way."
"Hey, look, doujin is a hobby. It's not about whether it sells or not—"
"What are you talking about? Of course it's about whether it sells or not."
"Wha..."
"If you just push your own hobbies on people, your customers will leave. You have to read the trends and provide products that meet their needs in a timely fashion, or your popularity won't last."
"E-Eriri..."
In that moment, I felt a prickling pain at the back of my neck, brought on by Eriri's cold, mercenary otaku remarks. It was a philosophy that had diverged so far from the days when we used to chase our dreams together as children.
"And this is the most important part... If it doesn't sell, if it isn't popular, there's no point in doing doujin at all."
"You're wrong!"
"Eh?"
"You're not that superficial! You were supposed to be more idealistic!"
That was why I shouted.
I was frustrated with Eriri—frustrated that she had drifted so far from the slightly geeky girl I knew as a childhood friend, and frustrated that she'd become so depressingly cynical.
"Think about it! Could someone who thinks that shallowly really keep up a creative practice so steadily? Could they keep putting out new books for events that come every week, let alone every month?"
"Tomoya..."
She wasn't like this in the past.
She was a cute girl who ended up getting totally hooked on the galge I forced her to play, even reaching the "Congratulations on Clearing Everything" CG on her own dedicated memory card.
"You can't keep that up just for the sake of popularity or commercialism, right?"
She was a charming girl who used to laugh happily while showing off her clumsy but love-filled illustrations of Kata—san.
"You can't do it without passion!"
"Actually, you can."
"I just gave this big passionate speech! Flinch a little, damn it!"
"In fact, it's the authors who are totally focused on commercialism who attend lots of events consistently and make a tidy profit. Take that certain circle I'm always next to, for example—"
"Stop, stop! Stop destroying the dreams of consumer-side otakus!"
In an instant, the back of my neck was frozen solid.
It was no use. No use at all. I would never be able to see eye-to-eye with her again.
"Tomoya, you're the one saying you want to move to the exploitative side yourself now, aren't you? You won't make it if you keep clinging to such soft, naive dreams."
"It's different! Mine isn't a business! It's freedom of expression!"
"Then, was it a lie when you said you wanted to produce this girl? Would it be perfectly fine if it didn't sell, if nobody knew about her, and if her character was never recognized by the world? In the end, is it all just for your own self-satisfaction?"
"Ngh..."
I felt like the lines between commercial work and doujin work were getting blurred, but since the actual doujin world was a mess anyway, I bit my lip, unable to come up with an effective rebuttal.
And there was one girl whose heart was aching at this tense atmosphere...
"U-Um, you two, please don't fight—"
"You stay out of this!"
"Kato, you don't need to jump in right now, so just be a good girl and keep playing the game, okay?"
"Um, why was I even called here...?"
She was here, but right now, she was just in the way.
"Hey, which one should we ride?"
"→ Haunted House"
"So, in the end, Tomoya, what kind of heroine do you want to make this girl?"
"What kind...?"
"A virtual idol? A Vocaloid? A National Girlfriend? A 3D Cus— Girl?"
"No, that last one is..."
I felt like a USB connection would make it even more dangerous.
"Well, I have no intention of participating, so I don't really care either way."
"For someone who doesn't care, you're being awfully specific in a very unpleasant direction."
"Hmm, I think I'm a little tired."
"Also, is it okay if she ends up covered in white fluid at the end?"
"Is the concept of 'all-ages' missing from your artistic identity?"
"Thanks for today. Invite me again sometime. Well then, bye-bye."
"Well, I suppose if you're going to stick to 'moe' until the end, lovey-dovey sex would be fine too."
"U-Um, if possible, I'd prefer a direction where even a minor like me could buy it..."
"...Wait! Kato! You messed up the choice again at this critical moment!"
"Ehh? I mean, since I got her heart fluttering this much up to this point, either choice should be fine. I'm sure she'll confess for sure."
"Why won't you give it your all until the very end?! Would you say that on a real-life date?!"
"Fine, I get it. I just have to load from the part where I invite her on the date, right?"
"You don't get it! You don't get it at all! Life and games are both a one-shot deal. I've told you over and over that using a reset button is the coward's way out!"
"I'm disappointed in you, Kato-san."
"Eh? Sawamura-san...?"
"I made a lunch box. Let's eat together, okay?"
"Eriri, you've only ever done derivative works of popular titles until now, right?"
"So what?"
"Haven't you been thinking that it's about time you made a name for yourself with something original?"
"Not really..."
"No, you must have. You were the one who taught me that if your original work is a hit, your doujin sales will skyrocket even further, weren't you?"
From what I'd heard, the pay for galge or eroge jobs wasn't great considering the amount of work, and it was actually much easier to make money through doujinshi. In other words, people who took on game jobs only did so because they had to in order to earn even more through doujin... well, apparently that only applied to a tiny fraction of creators.
"That's in the commercial world. As for doujin—and especially a small-time circle—hitting it big with a work like that is a pipe dream. I could draw five books in the time it takes to dream like that."
"Don't you remember? That miracle in the doujin world, where a tiny, completely unknown circle mastered their hobby to create a massive epic and achieved industry domination in just a few years."
"The reason something like that hit it big was because the scenario was God-tier in the end. No matter how hard the illustrator tries... Ah."
"I'm fully prepared on that front. It's rock-solid."
"Ngh..."
“I mean, who do you think is handling the scenario? None other than Kasumi—”
“I wasn’t interested to begin with, but if that person is involved, I am one hundred percent out.”
“...If you weren’t interested to begin with, why go out of your way to emphasize ‘that person’?”
“Now that you mention it, Sawamura-san, you were acting a bit weird toward Kasumigaoka-senpai at that first meeting, too. Is there some kind of... history?”
“You just stay quiet and play the game. Oh, look, a bomb appeared! What are you doing?!”
“Huh? Oh, you’re right. That was close.”
“...You’re dodging the question, aren’t you?”
“Hah? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve been wondering for a while, but why do you hate Utaha-senpai so much? You’re both top-tier creators; I’d think you’d have some common ground.”
“And what about you? Your attitude toward her is worlds away from what it was last year. Back when you first started here, you were so intense...”
“W-well, that’s...”
“Now that you mention it, Aki-kun, you seemed strangely awkward around Kasumigaoka-senpai, too. Is there some kind of... history?”
“You just stay quiet and play the game. If you don’t raise your stamina before Christmas, you’re in trouble.”
“...I think you two are actually a lot alike.”
“I believe that you can make the starting lineup.”
“So, please keep doing your best at soccer.”
“............”
“............”
“Um, what’s wrong with you two?”
“Eh? Oh, uh... nothing.”
“I-it’s... it’s nothing, okay?!”
“C-come on, Eriri, won’t you reconsider?”
“How many times do I have to say it’s impossible before you give up?!”
“Think of all the ‘next big thing’ genres I’ve tipped you off on over the years!”
“And? Your point is?”
“Don’t you think you owe me a little payback? How many games and anime at your house do you think I bought?!”
“Your ‘trends’ are way too skewed toward the moe-vibe. They never really hit the big time. If you could cover a broader range of genres, you’d actually be useful.”
“Wow, that condescending attitude is just as expected.”
“Anyway, I’ve got an event next month and I’m busy. Sorry, but...”
“And... if it’s okay with you, please take me to the National Stadium.”
“...!”
“...!”
“Are you guys crying?”
And so, my three years came to a close.
From now on, I intend to walk alongside Sa—
“............”
“............”
“............”
“It’s... finished.”
“Yeah...”
“Oh, it’s getting bright outside.”
* * *
And the next morning...
“Oh, morning, Aki-kun... *yawn*.”
“............”
Kato, who had just entered the classroom, naturally came right up to me to say hello before anyone else.
She had been stuck in my room all day Saturday and had finally gone home, looking exhausted, early Sunday morning. It seemed she was still dragging a bit of that sleepiness into Monday morning.
“*Yaaaawn*... What?”
I probably shouldn’t be the one saying this, but she really was unshakeable.
In addition to that, it was incredible that she could still talk to me so normally. Her level of tolerance was reaching the realm of a Bodhisattva. If I were her, I’d be ghosting me.
“Well, staying out overnight was a bit of a shock. I did call home once in the middle of the night, but my mom still asked me all sorts of questions.”
“Well, obviously.”
If she hadn't, I’d start to worry about a total breakdown in parent-child communication.
“Well, I figured she wouldn't believe the truth anyway, so I did a little creative editing.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her I stayed over where Sawamura-san ‘was.’”
“...Sounds a bit like sophistry, but she’s technically not lying.”
Kato and Eriri had left my house together at seven o’clock Sunday morning. In other words, for the entire duration Kato had stayed in my room, Eriri had indeed been ‘there.’
“Then she was surprised when I told her that the mansion on the hill was Sawamura-san's house.”
“...You’re a low-key bad girl, aren’t you?”
To tell the literal truth while omitting the relevant context to cause a total misunderstanding—her mastery of the half-truth was no joke.
“Even so, in the end, we stayed up all night and didn't make any progress, did we?”
“Don’t say that like it’s a foreshadowing of what’s to come for the circle!”
“Ahaha, it’s possible. Getting together for a ‘boot camp’ only to spend the whole time playing, right?”
“I literally just told you not to say that.”
“Ah, but despite all that, it was actually pretty fun.”
“Oh? Well, that’s good to hear.”
“Going on dates made me get more and more into it, and I was seriously agonizing over what present to give... Because of that, I was actually pretty moved when he confessed at the end.”
“...I see. Good for you.”
“What’s wrong, Aki-kun? You’re acting twitchy.”
“W-well...”
Yeah, I was definitely acting twitchy.
I’d been on edge for a while now, wondering if anyone else was eavesdropping on Kato’s dialogue.
‘Stayed overnight,’ ‘all night,’ ‘date,’ ‘present,’ ‘seriously,’ ‘confession’...
Keywords practically guaranteed to cause a misunderstanding were being scattered all over the place at a decent volume.
Is she doing this on purpose? Does she want to establish a fait accompli?! Kato, do you have feelings for me?!
“...Status... clear.”
“What is?”
Before the start of homeroom, more than half the students in the class were already there. Kato’s careless words should have reached the ears of at least five people if they were paying even the slightest bit of attention. And yet...
“Really, nothing at all.”
“I’m asking, what is?”
Sure, I’ll admit I’m a self-professed otaku who loves 2D and is the person in class furthest removed from ‘real life.’ So I don’t care about myself. But even so, Kato...
“Never mind. Class is about to start. Go back to your seat.”
“You’re being weird... Oh.”
She was cute, friendly, a good person, and actually a pretty fashionable girl. She should have been ranking quite high on the list of ‘girls you’d want to casually date,’ yet she possessed this level of invisibility.
The road to becoming a main heroine was still steep, I saw.
But just you watch. Someday, I will definitely make Kato the main heroine of the world—no, of Japan—no, of the industry—well, at least of this school...
“Me-Megumi! Megumi!”
“Hey, what is going on?!”
“That’s amazing! Why?!”
Yes, just like this...
“I’m so glad I finally found you... Kato Megumi-san.”
“...Sawamura-san.”
“Wait, what?”
Before I knew it, Kato and I were surrounded by more than half the students in the class. Yes, she was drawing a massive amount of attention.
Finally, everyone’s eyes were focused on Kato—
“Yesterday, you left before I could even say thank you. I had such a hard time finding you! ...Just kidding. It’s heartless of me not to even know which class you’re in. I’m sorry.”
“Eh? Eh?”
—Wait, no, they weren’t.
In front of Kato stood a girl with perfectly arranged, almost translucent features and twin tails tied so precisely they practically screamed this is what blonde hair is for. Her skin was like white porcelain, the envy of all the girls. Her clear blue eyes were the subject of many a boy’s rumor.
There stood the ‘normal’ version of Eriri—the one that, to me, was a total disguise.
“Whoa, what is it, Megumi? Did something happen with Sawamura-san yesterday?!”
Naturally, the surrounding classmates, their interest piqued by such a high-profile interaction, began questioning Kato.
“Something happened? Well, we stayed over—”
“She lent me a handkerchief!”
“!?”
“Oh, Aki-kun?”
That Eriri... Why did she just step on my foot?!
Kato was the one who’d almost said something careless. I hadn’t uttered a single word, not to mention I was completely outside of everyone’s attention anyway... Ah, I see. Since I was invisible, she figured no one but Kato would notice if she took it out on me.
“I was a bit careless and got hurt... and then, when Kato-san happened to pass by, she actually stopped to help treat it...”
“Huh, so that’s what happened? That’s amazing, Megumi!”
Hang on a second. What’s so amazing about that, you guys? Your reaction to Eriri is way too weird. Usually, if someone from another class boldly struts into your classroom, you’d welcome them with glares of pure hostility! At this rate, she’s practically... a main heroine.
“Kato-san was really so kind to me...”
“Oh, um, is your bump okay? It made a really loud thud.”
“I pricked my hand on a rose thorn!”
...?
“A-Aki-kun?”
Right then, that two-faced main heroine’s toe-kick connected directly with my shin. There are more than ten people around us—why has absolutely nobody noticed my agony?
“I spotted a beautiful rose in a residential garden along the street and went to touch it without thinking... Right? That’s how it went, wasn’t it, Kato-san?”
“Eh, ah, um...”
...No, actually, I get it. This is a magician’s trick. Swaying her blonde hair, running her fingers through it, flashing excessive smiles... By drawing everyone’s eyes to her upper body like that, she creates a window where she can execute as many low kicks as she wants.
Seriously, why has she only gotten uselessly better at the techniques used to guard her weird vanity?
“That handkerchief back then was a lifesaver. So, it’s not much of a thank-you, but... I’d like you to have this.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t...”
What Eriri passed into Kato’s hands was a plaid ribbon.
“I picked it out while I was doing some shopping. It’s just a cheap little thing, but...”
“O-Oh...”
No, I knew the truth. That was definitely a luxury British brand that the Spencer family had patronized for generations. Once back in elementary school, Eriri threw a tantrum at her parents and dragged even me—who had just come over after school to play—along on a “shopping trip.” And believe it or not, there wasn’t a single item in that shop under five digits. The dark memory of Mr. Spencer telling me, “Choose whichever one you like,” causing me to panic and burst into tears, flashed back into my mind...
“Hey, Kato-san, why don’t you come visit the art room sometime?”
“Eh? Why...?”
“I’d like to talk with you more... and, well, I’m also kind of hoping you might let me use you as a model?”
“A m-model?”
“Yes, for the upcoming exhibition.”
“Wow, that’s amazing, Megumi!”
“Seriously, being asked to model for Sawamura-san’s art is unheard of!”
“At this point, I’d even forgive you if it was for a nude painting!”
“Hehe, of course you can keep your clothes on. So, what do you say? Will you think about it?”
With a slightly mischievous but still elegant smile, Eriri leaned in close to Kato. To the bystanders, it might have looked like a sign that the distance between their hearts had closed—that they had become friends. But Eriri’s action was probably...
“S-Sawamura-san, um, what is this...”
“So, Kato-san, about yesterday...”
“If you spill, I’ll never forgive you.”
“...”
That faint, threatening whisper was drowned out by Kato’s sharp gasp and didn’t reach anyone else. No one, that is, except for Kato, who had been whispered to directly, and myself, who had read Eriri’s lips.
“Well, see you. You’re welcome anytime... Megumi-san?”
With one final, slightly mischievous, enigmatic smile, Eriri gracefully swept out of the classroom.
“...”
“Hey.”
“...”
“Kato. Kato, hey.”
“...Huh?!”
“...Are you okay?”
Right after Eriri left, our homeroom teacher walked in, and homeroom began. Even after a few minutes had passed, the teacher had left, and the other students had cleared out to move to their next classrooms, Kato remained sitting in her seat, dazed, unable to stand up.
“A-Aki-kun... What on earth was that?”
"What do you mean, 'what was that'...? You're friends who bonded over a pajama party last weekend, aren't you?"
"I wasn't wearing pajamas, though... You didn't tell me to bring any, Aki-kun."
"Calm down, you're completely missing the point."
Wait, so if I had told you to bring them, you would've come prepared?
"But why did she go out of her way to come all the way to our classroom?"
"Because you learned way too much about her true colors. She probably decided she needs to keep you under constant surveillance."
"So... am I on probation or something?"
"More like a suspended sentence, I think."
"Even though I'm a minor?!"
We were both too shell-shocked for our setup and punchlines to have any real bite.
Though somehow, our banter still managed to make sense.
"I don't think I stand a chance against Sawamura-san..."
"You don't need to compete with someone who has such a bizarre persona, you know."
She used to be such a cute, crybaby childhood friend... How did she end up like this?
"It was terrifying... In that moment, I was genuinely terrified, Aki-kuuuun."
"Did you almost wet yourself?"
"Ugh... is that really something you ask a girl?"
"Ah, my bad. I got a bit carried away. Please forget I said that."
"W-Well, to be fair, that's pretty much how it felt..."
"What a waste. In an eroge, wetting yourself is a legitimate moe trope, but depicting that kind of thing in a galge is strictly taboo. We won't be able to use it as a character event..."
"...Sawamura-san was a lot weirder than I expected, but you're exactly as weird as I expected, aren't you, Aki-kun?"
And just like that, our search for an illustrator happily returned to square one.
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